ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
