you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
