I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
