I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
