I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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