He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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