I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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