He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
