Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
