absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
