do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
