Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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