you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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