i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
