Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
