she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
