i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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