wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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