Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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