i just google imaged poop.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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