You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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