she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You smell like stripper and shame
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize
