I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
