She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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