You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
