If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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