I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
