Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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