Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
