Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
