If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
