I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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