and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
