Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just high enough for therapy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
