im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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