is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
