ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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