obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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