I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
