Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
