Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
