you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
