I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
