i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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