no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
