I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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