put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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