well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
