he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
