the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
