You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
