That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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