I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
