How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
