those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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