I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
