She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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