I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
