I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
