hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
